Between Misery & Complaints

” It is interesting to me that people don’t see any connection between their misery and their complaints — their feeling of being a victim; the feeling that everyone is doing something to them. It’s amazing. How many times has this connection been pointed out in the dharma talks? How many? And yet because of our fear we won’t look.” ~ Charlotte Joko Beck, Everyday Zen, Love & Work

Fear does many things to us. When fear is valid; it keeps us safe. When it is not valid; it holds us back.  ~ Debra

4 thoughts on “Between Misery & Complaints

    • I will share what Thich Nhat Hanh says in Answers from the Heart

      The Buddha advises us not to try to run away from our fear, but to bring up our fear an have a deep look into it. Most of us try to cover up our fear. Most of us are afraid of looking directly at our fear. Instead of trying to distract yourself from this fear, or ignore it, the Buddha proposed that you bring the seed of fear up and recognize that it’s there and embrace it with your mindfulness. Sitting with your fear, instead of trying to push it away or bury it, can transform it.

      I realize that not everyone is Buddhist. but if we look into those words (above) we can find some help without being Buddhist.

      Tend to your mind as you do your garden…tend it with love, care and acceptance (mindfulness). It takes time to properly weed a garden without damaging the other plants. And it takes time to find the root of fears.

      Thank you for your comment….I hope some how this helps. I still have fears too. It takes practice. 🙂


      ps: Even fears that are not ‘valid’ have a seed. Relax and let the fear be…you will find the seed.

  1. I am delighted that the comment thread is back. 😀

    I adored the beginning of this quote: “It is interesting to me that people don’t see any connection between their misery and their complaints . . .”

    So true.

    Or their misery and their desires. Or their misery and their anger. Or their misery and their thoughts.

    They are so aligned with their thoughts that they don’t even stop to examine whether a given thought is valid.

    When we watch our thoughts arising and ask: (1) Is it true? (2) Will it bring me more happiness? . . . much self-created suffering falls by the wayside.


    • Yay! Thanks a bunch Nancy. :):)

      Yes, so agreed, it is strange what I have done to myself….thinking this/that and wondering why I felt badly. Those pesky thought patterns. Once I can sit quietly…and breathe…then I can let it all float by.

      Joko is quickly becoming one of my favorite authors. She seems to get to the nitty gritty and be compassionate about it.

Comments are closed.